just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
