He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
