Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
