Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
the gays at disneyland are vicious
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Randomize
