Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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