How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.