Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?