Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus