Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(707): View more from California

I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.

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(707): I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it. http://tfl.nu/citx

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(971): View more from Oregon

I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.

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(971): I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one. http://tfl.nu/nv72

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(937): View more from Ohio

was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?

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(937): was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"? http://tfl.nu/gea9

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(949): View more from California

When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'

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(949): When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger' http://tfl.nu/z4iq

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(402): View more from Nebraska

i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one

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(402): i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one http://tfl.nu/cpp8

Replies (15) Good night (4747) Bad night (1249)
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(217): View more from Illinois

This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child

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(217): This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child http://tfl.nu/n5f8

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(214): View more from Texas

Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.

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(214): Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend. http://tfl.nu/ael4

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(407): View more from Florida

I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.

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(407): I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight. http://tfl.nu/a28b

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(250): View more from British Columbia

well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.

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(250): well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves. http://tfl.nu/btjv

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(302): View more from Delaware

I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment

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(302): I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment http://tfl.nu/03jc

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(931): View more from Tennessee

I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here

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(931): I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here http://tfl.nu/mh8f

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(519): View more from Ontario

I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.

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(519): I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands. http://tfl.nu/u4sr

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(509): View more from Washington

Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?

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(509): Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet? http://tfl.nu/3lpx

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(626): View more from California

Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy

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(626): Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy http://tfl.nu/8u1j

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(858): View more from California

We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?

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(858): We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship? http://tfl.nu/s6j9

Replies (7) Good night (871) Bad night (168) Order T-Shirt

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