the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him