I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
