Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
