Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
they're like a gay fantastic four
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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