I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
the night ended with taco bell and tears
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
