garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
