i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
