Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
