I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
