Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
