I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
