I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize