Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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