I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
