idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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