he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
