I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
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You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
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Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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