You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
