your thong is hanging out like whoa
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
