Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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