yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to sanitize my soul.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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