I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
