Whoa Z and x make the same sound
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
