wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize