i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Drunk is not a location!
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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