You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I AM VODKA MAN
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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