It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
My penis needs a shock collar
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
