turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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