Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
