this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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