You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
