They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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