The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
