It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
