I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
please come you make the beer taste better
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
