I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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