problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
