garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
