just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
