why didn't you poke me back
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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