Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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