with your own penis?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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