She's JV to your varsity
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
