Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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