I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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