One girl and one boy is just not enough.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize