I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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