I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
