your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
