You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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