Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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