Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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