You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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