I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
